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Listening to a combination of new country radio and Superchic[k] tonight has done fascinating things in my mind. It’s time for some more (hopefully) enlightening discourse from the Jessss-ter. Onvarts!

I’ll cut to the chase. Ladies, don’t let a man put or attempt to put his penis inside of you unless you ask yourself this question first: “Is this the kind of man and situation that I would want my own little girl to encounter someday?” You might even try “Would he want his daughter to encounter him–someone with the same sexual values–in the future?” If the answer is no, say “No” and move on. In the mean time, be the kind of woman you would want your son to be involved with someday.

Men, don’t put it into a woman’s vagina unless you ask yourself “Would I want my son to be involved with someone like this woman in the future?” If the answer is no, say “No” and move on. More importantly, if the answer is “Yes” then protect that woman and that relationship. Be the kind of man you want your daughter to be involved with some day.

If you cannot say the words “penis” and “vagina” without shame, guilt, or lust or you don’t use them in appropriate contexts (like having a mature and real conversation with friends versus screaming these words for kicks at a grocery store) then you may not be mature enough for sex. These words are not vulgar, they are biology and part of what was ultimately and originally created to be a good thing that God made. God is pleased when you have sex in appropriate contexts that He created it for. If the the thought of God being happy with you having sex just made you spasm, rock in place, or place your hands over your ears and sputter “La la la!” then you may need counseling. I am not jesting with that one.

Of course there are other parameters, like marriage and making sure this is someone you can respect and whom you love and a million other things. Those things have all been said before. I am not trying to make light of the topic or not take these things seriously, I am just trying to make a very real point. The rest will probably fall into place if you think about it. For example, looking at a man mid lust-cuddle and thinking “This dude would never want his own daughter to be in this situation or be with anyone like him” just does something to the moment. Still, it needs to be said: Be intentional about sex and when, where, with whom and in what context you have it. Sort that out now and make the decisions now. It definitely isn’t foolproof but at least you’ll have some goals in place and that makes it a lot harder to stray off the path you want for your life.

For those of us who have made mistakes, it’s time to move on. More importantly, it is never to late to start asking those questions about people we are in romantic relationship with. It’s also never too late to start being the kind of man or woman you would want your son or daughter to be with. You cannot, I repeat, cannot, do this alone. Get connected to a good accountability network, formal or not. Wherever you’re at, it’s a good starting place.